Monday, July 24, 2017

Summer... really?

We awoke this morning to torrential rain and strong winds.  The weather man said "more of the same tomorrow"

So we piled into our cars and came back to the city. 

I spent the day doing laundry and baking chocolate chip cookies and banana bread.  We seem to have a 'cookie monster" (better known as Sir Steve) and my cookies just disappear.  

The lil one had fun playing with all her toys -- it's amazing how a couple of weeks away from the house makes everything seem new again!

Sir Steve has planned some play tonite -- He has been working on the build up all day.  (grinning) He tweaks my nipples ... as I collapse downwards his voice telling me to stand straight -- no remorse -- gotta love a Sadist!!  Loving / play has been frequent this summer and ohhhhhhh so very good.  With Sir Steve I am learning balance -- it is so much healthier a relationship than anything I have experienced before.  And I AM so much healthier and so much stronger!

Life is good when there is balance.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

End of the Week

The sun is setting -- it's quiet in the campgrounds -- Sunday night most have gone back to town for the start of a new week.

It was a good week (all in all) the lil one spent the week with mom and Sir Steve and I had some much needed 'us' time -- after he returned from work.  I spent my days going for walks -- or curled up in the lounger reading.  The sun is browning my body and lifting my spirits.  (it has been a rainy cold start to the summer!)

I am sitting on the bed watching Sir Steve brush the lil one's hair and braid it before bed.... I am smiling - watching the intensity on his face as he braids -- tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth.  She's chattering on and on about dinosaurs.  The dog is curled up on her bed at the foot of our bed.  The day is ending..... 

Life is good when the world quietens down and the sun sets.......... 

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Best Summer

Last evening Sir Steve and I popped over to a site just down the road to visit after dinner.  We had a lovely time chatting and getting caught up on news (they've been absent from the campgrounds for a couple of weeks) I enjoyed myself!

Walking home in the dark holding Sir Steve's hand I thought 'tomorrow is going to be a beautiful hot summer day -- and best of all I have nothing to do!'  

This is turning out to be the best summer ever (despite all the drama that swirls around me).  I can spend hours sitting on our deck in the sunshine - reading when I want to read - or closing my eyes and listening to the quiet interspersed with kids laughter, chirping birds, the distant sound of cars navigating the camp grounds.

Despite what people 'see' and imagine -- I am not all that outgoing -- I actually don't enjoy being with people -- solitude is what keeps me sane.  Even as  a little girl in the summer my favourite thing to do was to curl up in my bedroom with a book.  I can remember my mom forcing me to go out and play ' to make friends' .. shrug I never felt the need for friends I was (am) my best friend.

Thankfully Sir Steve honours my need to be alone and quiet ... does all he can to foster a quiet haven for me... even when we go visiting neighbouring campers he watches me judging when I have had enough socializing..... and makes the move to end the evening.

Now it is time to curl up on the deck in the glorious sunshine and ignore the world around me ................. life is good and this is turning out to be the best summer in a long long time!




Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Despite The Crazies

This morning I realized that the crazies are always gonna be crazy 
They are always gonna stand just outside my world and poke 
They are always gonna try and get a reaction out of me.

I can get through all of it because at the end of the day..........

I slide into bed with Sir Steve and he wraps his arms around me and the world shrinks down to the two of us - snuggled in the dark -- talking about the day -- whispering our love -- and the crazies -- all of them -- vanish in a poof of smoke.

I know that no matter how they poke at me during the day -- how they sneak up behind me and blind side me - no matter what they do to try and disturb my peace.. my santuary .. my sanity ... that in the dark of the night my faith is restored because I am really truly loved.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Crazies of the World Unite

And then let us put them all in a freaking big boat and push it out to sea............. 

The last few days I seem to have had my fill of crazy people... from the  ex father in law screaming his fool head off at me -- to the ex wife lurking about trying to cross the clearly defined boundarives -- the ex mother in law raving like a lunatic and now my ex W still tagging me on FB (always when I think he is gone for good he manages to pop back up in my life!!) ........ (shaking head) Honestly I feel like I am living in an asylum!!

And now I am growing paranoid! 

My biggest fear is that Sir Steve's exs are plotting some evil plot to get custody of the lil one.  I know it's stupid and illogical -- the mother still is only allowed supervised visitations........... but the rumblings I keep hearing -- like they will keep the lil  one for the full summer -- and get full custoday at the fall hearing.........the names they are calling me everything from "slut to home breaker to crazy girlfriend" .  I worry somehow I am gonna be used against Sir Steve in the final custody hearing!

AND I am probably just being paranoid........... 

Let's start collecting 'em all -- all those crazies -- and find a HUGE boat ok???